Life anew

I hold my breath as pain strikes again, muffling an anguished cry of agony struggling to get out. People are shouting and running around…

 

Why are they running?

 

They don’t make sense to me, nothing does…

The only real thing I could grasp is the pain ravaging and burning my body, numbing my senses.

 

Will it stop? I want it to stop… Please make it stop!

 

“Stay with me!”, a voice calls out.

 

I don’t want to…

 

“Hold on!”

 

I can’t…

 

The voice is already growing distant and the unknown face growing dimmer.

 

Can’t the pain leave as well?

 

I feel my heart struggling to pump life into me, one heartbeat after the other. I feel it faltering, failing me…

 

Keep beating a litle longer!

 

I close my unseeing eyes and allow myself a long hard breath… Another breath… And another…

 

Is it futile to fight? I am leaving anyway at some time or another, we all are… Does it really matter if it were now or ten years later?

 

I feel the wind teasing my bruised face, ruffling my blood-soaked hair. Another breath to take the wind in… I want it in me, I want to be part of it… I feel it tugging at my soul, trying to carry me away with it.

 

Yes, I am coming… Just a few more heartbeats…

 

I am frightened.

 

Can it hurt more?

 

A slight breath of air promised it would be gentle, like meeting an old friend after a long parting.

 

My parents… My sister… My friends… Will I leave them?

 

The wind laughed and the sun joined in.

“Have we ever left?”

The stars twinkled and smiled.

“We are ever-present. We are in everything.”

 

I understood.

 

“Time to let go… Join us!”

 

I am ready…

 

I brace myself for the sudden blow of death but I feel… nothing.

No pain.

No shouts nor screams.

No worries nor wonderings.

Above all, no sadness…

Nothing but the deafening sound of silence…

Everything is lucid. All is clear and understood. No bitterness for life remained and all that has never made sense to me suddenly fit together like a puzzle. Life and death seemed to make perfect sense.

I was alive anew and I drown, weightless, in the welcoming wind.

 

***

 

The news of her brother’s sudden death left her broken, bitter and angered at life’s unfairness.

 

Why did he have to go?

 

She stood at the edge of her garden right where she used to play with her brother as kids, his favourite spot. Tears trickled down slowly from her already swollen eyes, making their way along her cheeks. She was barefoot on the soft grass.

A slight gust of wind blew by. She felt a chill despite the warm sun.

 

I should probably get my jacket.

 

Yet she didn’t move. The light breeze blew again. She closed her eyes.

The wind stroked her cheeks tenderly, drying away her tears as it swayed the grass playfully tickling her sensitive feet. It craddled her softly to an unheard lullaby, whistling old tunes only her heart recognised.

 

He was there…

She smiled and blew out a kiss.

 

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “Life anew

Add yours

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: